You’re anticipating the birth of your child and the dreamy, blissful newborn stage you were promised. They only sleep, eat, and poop….right? Well, in some cases that’s true, but not always. You may be shocked at the disconnect you may feel if your baby has colic and screams and cries all day, and all night. If you are anything like me, that was NOT what I thought I was signing up for.
You will hear people say that “all babies cry.” Ofcourse they do! There is no other way to communicate that they have a need which needs to be met. However, what if their diaper was changed, they ate, you checked their body over and everything looks ok. BUT THEY DONT STOP SCREAMING? That is most definitely NOT normal. My daughter looked physically uncomfortable and squirmy, I knew something was up.
We tried anything we could to make her stop crying. Some things did help, and at that point they were lifesavers even though they were not the permanent solution we were seeking. They were a temporary fix, but even as so, I will list them further down my post because sometimes even a temporary fix is enough to gain some sanity.
Many visits to the pediatrician later, we were told to bring in a soiled diaper. Under the microscope they found blood and mucous in her stool which indicated a milk intolerance. Finally, a lightbulb went off…they found something! But….how can a baby not have milk?! Well, there are options. If you are a breastfeeding mama, the first thing is for you to eliminate dairy from your own diet so that it is no longer found in your breastmilk. If you are a formula feeding mama, there are hypoallergenic formulas that have the milk proteins extremely broken down so that babies that are intolerant can have an easier time digesting them.
In addition to her intolerance, she also had what is called “silent reflux.” She never threw up, but we could hear her milk coming back up and she would swallow it back down while screaming. So it would burn her coming up and going back down. Many dairy intolerant babies have reflux, though usually it results in actually vomiting.
We decided to formula feed and went through every “sensitive” and “hypoallergenic” formula we could find. Some mild improvement was found, but it wasn’t enough. After going back to the pediatrician yet again, we were given a prescription-only formula which was covered by health insurance (otherwise it was $50 each!!). Simultaneously, we were prescribed prevacid to help with the silent reflux. Finally, real change started happening.
It took 2 weeks of hell….2 weeks of everything getting worse, more crying and many tears shed, before we started noticing that she would sometimes lay there without crying and without looking uncomfortable. Baby coos started happening. Small smiles started appearing on her face. Over the course of the next month, she cried less and less and we got to experience the joy of having a baby for the first time. My post-partum depression started to lift, we all started to sleep again, and this unfamiliar happiness started to be felt by all 3 of us. After a few months on Elecare, we swtiched to Nutramigen- a formula you can easily find in stores and she was able to tolerate it just fine. At one year old we switched her to whole milk with no issues at all! I am happy to say that most babies outgrow this intolerance by their first birthday.
As promised, here are some things that helped us before we found the permanent solution that worked for us.
#1- Mommy’s Bliss Gas Relief
While it wasn’t a “magic cure,” it did help temporarily when we really felt she had gas. Bottle fed babies get gas more often as it is easier to gulp air with bottle feeding.
#2- Dr. Browns Colic Bottles
These helped tremendously! They help push air to the bottom of the bottle so that baby doesn’t swallow it. After trying this one, I never switched again and went straight to these bottles with my second baby.
#3- Boppy Pillow
This was also a life saver! Having her head elevated alleviated a lot of her discomfort. Since she had a milk intolerance, she would have some reflux which got worse when laying flat.
#4- Fisher Price Swing
Ok, I KNOW this thing is an eye sore! We tried so many swings and this was the only one both of my babies liked. I have recommended it to every new parent I know, and they all love it. You can change the speed at which it swings, and it has a mobile for the baby to watch as a distraction.
#5- Baby Carrier
This is the one I used and LOVED, but any baby carrier would do. Sometimes the only thing I could do in order to get things done around the house without her screaming nonstop was to wear her while I did my errands. It helped a lot!
#6- Nutramigen (hypoallergenic baby formulas)
As I spoke about, we went on a prescription formula (Elecare) when all drugstore hypoallergenic formulas wouldn’t work. Elecare is the most broken down formula for babies to digest. However, it had to be shipped to us, and with constant shipping delays I was always so worried we wouldn’t have enough. After a few months on Elecare, I tried Nutramigen (for the 2nd time) but this time it worked as she became more tolerant to dairy.
If you are a parent going through this right now, it WILL get better. I know it is so hard to believe in the moment, and it feels so far away that its almost annoying to hear because you need it to get better now to function. I urge you to bring in a soiled diaper and check if there is a dairy intolerance. My daughter is now a joyful, happy 5 year old and this is all a distant memory. We also did not have these issues with my son, so just beccause one of your kids had it doesn’t mean the other will. Please hang in there and feel free to message me!
